Accepting failure

That overwhelming feeling of not being enough, of falling short, of complete and utter failure. 

There's not one person alive that has not experienced this. It starts with us as babies, desperately trying to get our arms to support our weight so we can crawl. And when our weak little arms fail and we fall back on our bellies, we all let out a heartbreaking baby cry. Ofcourse, babies eventually learn to crawl and from there they go on to walk. So, in that way the metaphor works because it tells us that with time, hard work and perseverance we can all succeed.

But can we? 

I was raised with the idea that perseverance is key, and that if you keep on trying and you work hard there is nothing you can't succeed at. And although failing was never seen as something bad while I was growing up, there was always this idea of failing being non permanent. Temporary failing sure, but eventually.. you will always succeed. And as a teacher this is what I have always tried to instill in my students. The fact that you didn't succeed now doesn't mean you won't later. But lately I have started wondering whether this is the right way to go about it. Is it realistic to teach children that they should never give up, that failure is something they themselves control? Or should we start teaching them that accepting failure is simply a part of life and a very important one at that? Can we appreciate success if we have never known failure? And more importantly if we have never failed or been taught how to cope with failure.. what happens to us when we, inevitably fail?

I, personally, don't have a great relationship with failure. I have always refused to accept it and, to be fair, there's not been many points in my life where I have had to. But those few moments in my life, where I did, have always been the lowest points. And only now am I beginning to realize that this is not because of the mere fact that at these moments I effectively failed at something. No, these low points in my life are caused by the fact that I simply do not know how to deal with failure. And so it ends up drowning me. I drown in self doubt and guilt, I question my every decision and every thought and it takes an immeasurable amount of strength to pull myself out of that mindset. 

I don't know how to deal with failure, but I do know I don't wish whatever I feel when I do end up failing upon my students. So, from now on I will start educating myself on how to accept, and cope with failure and hopefully teach my students to do the same. In the hope that we can foster a generation wherein failure is not seen as the end of the world, but simply as a facet of our life that in the end will enrich our experiences. A facet of life that teaches us to appreciate that what we have achieved even more.